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ASK DR. LAR
- Got a question about something Catholic?
- Ever wonder why Catholics do something?
- Been at church and said to yourself, "What the heck is that?"
Then Ask Dr. Lar!
He's a not so lean and definitely not mean walking breathing encyclopedia of things Catholic machine.And remember, the only thing dumb is the question that was never asked!
Some Recently Asked Questions:
| Q: |
Can you tell me more about the NET retreats we host here at St. Pats? |
Q: |
My daughter is 10 years old. What can I do to help her learn
to pray? She will say a short prayer before dinner and at bed time but does not
care for longer prayers like the rosary or going to Adoration.
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| A: |
St. Patrick hosts a Net Team each year for a junior high retreat experience.
A NET Team is made up of 11 Young Adults part of a group of 100 NET volunteers ages 18 to 30 are sent out in vans each year across the United States in teams of 10 to 12. Their mission is to proclaim the Gospel to youth.
The purpose of a NET retreat is to proclaim the basic Gospel message and to invite young people to live their lives for Christ. The faith of the NET teams gives witness that faith in God is a desirable, acceptable and exciting part of their lives.
NET retreats are four hours long at St. Patrick. NET retreats combine a blend of fun, high-energy retreat experience with a straightforward Gospel presentation. Team members proclaim the Gospel through large group talks, small group discussions, music, drama, and personal faith sharings. Each retreatant is given the opportunity to respond to Christ in prayer, and/or the Sacraments of Holy Eucharist and Reconciliation.
For more information check out their website at http://www.netusa.org/programs_net_retreats.aspx
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A: |
OK, thinking back to when I was 10 years old, praying the rosary was something I only did after going to confession on Saturday afternoon. Praying one decade as a penance seemed to take an hour and a whole Rosary (well only 5 mysteries) took the entire afternoon. My point being is that my concept of time was different as was my attention span - about 30 seconds.
Ten-year-olds are not into meditative prayers as a rule. Perhaps you could do a guided meditation with her as a way to develop the habit of meditation. There are a number of good sources of guided meditations for children available at any good catholic bookstore.
There are guided meditations available across all sorts of subject areas, age ranges, and topics. There are even a couple for use at bedtime if that is when your 10 year-old is used to praying. Most of the newer books are available as an audio book that your daughter could choose and use on her own.
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| Q: |
I've read in a number of articles that if the child's father
is not a practicing Catholic that the chances of the children practicing the
faith are slim. Has your research also indicated this? Is there anything
the mother can do to improve the odds? |
Q: |
Is it true that if a person who is 11 years
old goes through RICA for baptism and first communion that they also celebrate
confirmation? This doesn’t seem equitable to the kids that have been going to
religion for years and waiting to get confirmed in 11th grade.
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| A: |
There is a plethora of research on the topic of mixed marriages and the faith development of children. Most of the research quite specific, being tailored to a specific faith tradition and the sex of the child. There are a significant number of mitigating social factors that can effect the making of any generalized conclusions.
In the end all you as a parent can truly hope for is a spiritually conscientious young adult who will accept the personal invitation of Jesus to become a disciple. The extent to which that young adult has been exposed to Catholic spirituality, theology, and culture will greatly determine whether that adult "Yes," will be expressed in the Catholic tradition.
But you asked about increasing the odds, so here are some gleanings from research for you to ponder (please take with a grain of humor). The first thing you can do is marry a Catholic, oops I think we're too late for that one. Second best thing, marry a practicing Jew. Oddly, Catholic-Jewish families produce some very faith filled spiritually conscious children but in which faith? Well, see the research on that one. Third, get actively involved at your parish and drag your kids along. All the better if you can drag your hubby along too. The idea here is to expose your children to other active Catholics and their children. Fourth, send your kids to a catholic school - grade school, high school and college. They are still the best institutions we have for creating future generations of active involved catholics. FYI - you need to do all 16 years to achieve a statistically significant difference in fostering active involved Catholic adults. Did I say this would be cheap? Last but not least, do not get divorced. Not only do Catholics not sanction divorce but it is the statistically worse thing you can do if your goal is to raise "religiously active" kids in any faith.
Finally, so as not to be sexist, most of this stuff cuts both ways today. So all this is more or less the same if you are a father with a mother who is not a practicing Catholic.
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A: |
The
short answer is that we are caught between two different traditions.
One, the
Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, RCIA, is ancient dating back to the late
first or early second century CE. It is a liturgical process of forming non-Christians to enter into the church. This only occurs at Easter, often after several years of preparation. Here all three sacraments of initiation (Baptism, Confirmation and Eucharist) are celebrated as part of the Triduum at the Easter Vigil.
The other, is the separated Rite of Confirmation. This separation of Confirmation from Baptism was an
anthropological development in the Latin Church (Roman Catholic) during the early
middle ages. At this time travel was difficult and dangerous. Western European diocese were physically large and dispersed. So the Bishop would only come around to visit his parishes every few years. Confirmation was then separated from a person's baptism and reserved for his visit.
Today there is no "single standard" for the celebration of delayed Confirmation. So someone
like me was confirmed in 3rd grade while in the Superior Diocese most youth are
confirmed in their sophomore or junior year in high school. Some diocese in the
United Sates celebrate Confirmation with First Eucharist, this practice is
called "restored order."
The RCIA is settled church liturgical law. Basically, anyone who was never baptized
and is over "about the age of seven" should go through the RCIA process and be
fully initiated (receiving Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist) as part of the parish
celebration of the Triduum at the Easter Vigil.
Equity?
Who ever said life or the church for that matter was
equitable? |
“A peaceful man does more good than a learned one.”
~ Pope John XXIII
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